Monday, 14 July 2008

• How To Inherit Eternal Life

  Preface
  I wrote this piece as a sequel to my satirical piece How To Be A Christian. Many of my friends who commented on the piece on Facebook took offense that all I did was criticize in the satire and I didn't offer the truth in plain words. I don't know that they fully understand the nature of satire. Regardless, a number of people sincerely asked me to present the biblical alternative to the practices I criticize in the piece. Never one to disappoint my adoring fans (ha!), I was led to write this admittedly lengthy exegetical article.

  How To Inherit Eternal Life

  When you look at Jesus's words in the gospel, it becomes pretty clear that his message is a double-edged sword. He talks a lot about salvation and forgiveness. That's the first side. And he talks a lot about damnation and hell. And that's the second side. Double-Edged.

  But the interesting thing is to whom Jesus preaches those two messages. Unlike the modern evangelical church, Jesus preaches salvation and forgiveness of sins to the lost and the sinners. And unlike the modern evangelical church, his message of hell and damnation was reserved for the religious. And not those of other religions: no, Jesus's message of damnation was for those who professed to believe in the true religion.

  If Jesus was alive today, I imagine he'd still have the same message. Salvation for the lost. Damnation for those who claim to follow the one true God. That's christians.

  So how do we know who goes to heaven? The modern evangelical church would suggest that it is those who profess belief (and pray a prayer) who will go to heaven. I strongly disagree. It's interesting to consider what Jesus has to say on the subject.

  Look at Luke 10. In it, someone asks Jesus how to inherit eternal life. If only we could ask Jesus the same question, wouldn't that make our lives so much easier? Fortunately for us, we have Jesus's answer recorded, so it's pretty close to getting to ask him ourselves.

  Surprisingly, Jesus does not say that in order to have eternal life we must believe in him. He does not say that in order to have eternal life we need to repent of our sins and trust in Jesus's work on the cross. In fact, he doesn't even mention praying the Sinner's Prayer. What does Jesus say?

  Jesus says that, in order to inherit eternal life, what we need to do is to love God and love others. That's very different than any altar call I've ever heard.

  I can hear the blessed evangelicals protesting now, "What does it mean to 'love God' except to read my Bible, go to church, and participate in worship service? If I pray and worship God, I'm loving him, right?"

  No. Love isn't a feeling, as much as our culture would like to convince you otherwise. Love is all about actions. Don't believe me? Okay, well, what does Jesus say about the subject?

  In John 14, Jesus says that if you love him, you'll obey his commandments. Ouch. He then goes on to say that those who love him by obeying his commandments will receive the Holy Spirit. Oh man. That's pretty much the hallmark of what it means to truely be saved, right? If you don't obey the commandments of God, you don't love him, and you won't have the Holy Spirit. Shoot.

  As it turns out, there's a ton of commandments. How can anyone be expected to obey all of them? Well, let's talk about those commandments. Sure, there are a lot of them. But Jesus makes a pretty good point about them in Matthew 22. He says that all the Law and the Prophets (that's an ancient Jewish way of saying the Scriptures; every word God has given to mankind) depend on just two commandments. That's pretty cool. Two is doable, right? What are the two commandments?

  1. Love God
  2. Love Others

  Shoot! Those again! We've seemed to have come in a circle. We know that to inherit eternal life we need to love God and love others. But it turns out the only way we can love God is to obey his commandments. And his commandments are only to love God and love others?

  Are you seeing a pattern? In order to inherit eternal life and to obey God's commandments, you must love others. In order to love God, you must follow his commandments, which means we have to love others.

  And that's what it is. To love God, you must love others. Salvation is wrapped up in this.

  Radical, I know, but it's true. It's the theme of the New Testament that evangelicalism doesn't want you to know about. Look at 1 John, particularly Chapter 4, it's really incredible. It tells us a few things about love:

  1. Those who love others know God and are born of God. (v. 7)
  2. Anyone who doesn't love others doesn't know God. (v. 8)
  3. We are only able to love because God's expressed his love for us through Christ and that requires us to love others. (vs. 9-11)
  4. If we love others, God lives in us and his love is perfected in us. (v. 12)

  John goes on to say that those who will be saved are those who love God and follow his commandments, and that what God commands is to love one another. Yet again we see that to inherit eternal life we must love God. And loving God requires and revolves around loving others. You can't inherit eternal life unless you love God. And you can't love God unless you love others.

  I can hear the cries from the blessed evangelicals now rising in protest, "But we believe in salvation through faith alone. It sounds to us like you're saying you have to do something to inherit eternal life."

  That's because I am. But don't take my word for it, look at one of the most underappreciated epistles of the modern church, James. Please, please take the time to read this book, it's amazing how different it is from everything taught in evangelical churches. Let's take a look, specifically, at James 2. James talks about the role of deeds and works in faith. It is very clear from the context of the chapter and the book as a whole (read the whole book!) that the deeds he's referring to are visible acts of love towards others. So here's what James says about faith and deeds:

  1. If you don't love your neighbor and show them mercies, you will be judged without mercy. (vs. 8-13)
  2. Faith without works cannot save anyone. Works means caring for other people's needs. (vs. 14-16)
  3. Faith without works is dead. (v. 17)
  4. Faith without works is useless. (v. 20)
  5. Abraham's faith was completed by his works. (v. 22)
  6. People are justified by works and faith, not faith alone. (v. 24)

  Your faith shaken yet? I know mine is.

  I don't mean at all to suggest that one can earn salvation. That's not possible. Paul explains it nicely in Ephesians 2. It is only by the grace of God that we are saved. God's grace is what caused him to send Christ as atonement for our sins. As Paul says, it is then through faith in Christ that we are made partakers of the grace. We are saved by grace through faith. Unfortunately, it is there that the evangelical church stops. And it misses only a few words later where Paul says that the reason we are saved by grace through faith is to do good deeds.

  Only the work of Christ on the cross can save anyone. It is faith, as Paul says, that allows us to partake of that salvation. However, what is it that James says about faith? He says you cannot have faith without works. What works is he talking about? Look at the context. It's meeting other people's physical needs. That's loving others, loving your neighbor.

  So, you want to be saved by grace through faith? Awesome! But until you love other people in practical ways, your faith (which is what allows you to partake of grace) is dead, useless, and incomplete. You are not justified yet. You're not going to inherit eternal life.

  Do you want more proof that faith without deeds is dead? Take a look at something else that James says in his first chapter:

  Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

  James then goes on to explain that the stain, the mark, of the world that has corrupted the church is showing favoritism to the rich. So James tells us that pure religion means caring for the poor, downtrodden, sick and not showing favoritism to the rich.

  Maybe now you understand why I think most of the people in the American evangelical church are going to hell. Because, whether you realize it or not, if you're anywhere near middle class, even in the upper ends of the lower class, and you live in America, you are one of the richest people in the world. On a global scale, anyone in the middle-class up is considered rich. Try to tell me the evangelical church doesn't show favoritism to the rich. I could use a good laugh at this point. How many evangelical churches commit significant time and energy to loving the poor?  There is little true religion in the evangelical church.

  See, these are the deeds that James is saying are necessary to faith. Not just loving others, but loving the truely broken. It's not good enough for us to sit up in our ivory towers and claim to be showing love to one another. We have to reach into the mire and love the dirtiest, poorest people in the world in order to complete our faith. Otherwise our faith is useless, no more able to save us from hell than the faith of the demons will save them.

  This brings us to the most shocking passage of Scripture I know of on this subject. You can find it in Matthew 25. In the passage, Jesus talks about when he will return. He says that then he will separate all people into two groups, one who will enter eternal life and one who will enter eternal damnation.

  Now, if what the evangelical church taught was true, we would know that Jesus's test for separating one from another would be faith. If someone believed in Jesus, he would put them in the group going to eternal life and if one didn't, Jesus would send them to eternal damnation.

  Interesingly enough, that's not the criteria Jesus uses in this passage. In fact, he doesn't even talk about faith. You see, Jesus says that those who go to eternal life will be those who fed the hungry, sated the thirsty, showed hospitality to strangers, clothed the naked, took care of the sick and visited those in prison. He says that, whether or not someone showed love by meeting the physical needs of "the least [of all people]" will determine whether one inherits eternal life or eternal damnation.

  For you see, Jesus says that the poor, the broken, the stranger, and the criminal, they are him. Whatever you do or whatever you don't do for the poor, the broken, the stranger, and the criminal you do or don't do for Jesus. So, we know that to inherit eternal life we must love God. How do we do that? If you want to love Jesus, look to the streets. The homeless, the orphans, the drug addicts, the widows, and the prisoners, those people are Jesus. And when the church doesn't love the broken and downtrodden, the least of our society, the church doesn't love Jesus. And, to our shame, the majority of churches don't love the least people. And anyone who doesn't love others, doesn't love God.

  Here it would be beneficial to briefly discuss what it means to love others. Another entire essay could be written about this, but I shall not distract from the point at hand. Suffice it to say that it is, as I said before, not a feeling in the heart, but an outward action. The Scriptures have a very specific, thorough, and easily understood examination of what it means to love others in 1 Corinthians 13. Elsewhere, Jesus says that there is no greater love than giving up one's life for someone else, and that this is the kind of love he demands from us. And that speaks to the heart of love. The list in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and everything else the Scriptures say about love could be summed up in that, I think. Love is this: putting the interests, preferences, and needs of others before your own. Complete selflessness. Pouring yourself out for another. That's the heart of it.

  And so, it is clear that the Scriptures teach that unless you put the physical, spiritual, and emotional needs of others before your own, you will not be saved. And not just some generalized, nebulous "others" either. We are called to love everyone, truely. But we are especially called to put the physical, spiritual, and emotional needs of the poor and broken ahead of our own. If you don't, you don't love Jesus. If you do, then it's Jesus you're loving.

  In conclusion, I want to state that it is impossible to be saved without the work of Jesus Christ on the cross and his resurrection. We have all sinned and fall short of God, and it is through Jesus's blood that we are made righteous. It is through his blood we take part in eternal life. And it is only by the grace of God, not by anything we've done to deserve it. We enter into the saving grace of God through faith in Jesus as the Christ. I'm not preaching anything else. But, it is clear that the Scriptures teach that your faith is incomplete and useless until you love other people, especially the poor. It is only by Christ's sacrifice that we are able to love others, as John says in Chapter 4. If someone is meeting the physical needs of the poor, but does not claim faith in Christ, it is not the true love that saves. So how do you inherit eternal life? Love God and love others. Faith is not enough.

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• How To Be A Christian

  Go to Church. This is so important for us to do, because Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:20 that where two or three are gathered in His name He is there too! How can we ever consider sleeping in to be more worthwhile than going to meet with JESUS? God tells us again in Hebrews 10:25 that we are not to give up meeting together, but to meet together even more as we approach Judgment Day! And that was 2000 years ago! We are now so much closer to Judgment Day, how much more should we be meeting together? Like the church in Acts 2:42, we should devote ourselves to going to church! We must remember to keep Sundays holy! That's so important to God that He made it the fourth commandment!

  Read Your Bible Everyday. As 2 Timothy 3:16 says, the Bible is useful for teaching, correcting, rebuking, and training in righteousness and is therefore the center of every aspect of Christian life. Furthermore, Deuteronomy 11:18-19 commands us to fix the Bible on our hearts and minds and to talk about it all the time, no matter what we do, which is why memorizing your Bible is so important! Again, we are commanded in Joshua 1:8 that we are to meditate on the Bible day and night! Like the example Jesus sets for us in Mark 1:35, we are to get up early each morning to read God's Word so we can truly start the day right.

  Don't Cuss. In Ephesians 5:4, God tells us that, among Christians, there should be no obscenity, foolish talk, or coarse joking. Even stronger than this is what God says in Ephesians 4:29-30, which is that we should not let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up; there is never an excuse to say anything negative! God tells us that if you say "fuck", you're grieving the Holy Spirit! Just don't do it!

  Be Happy. As a Christian, joy should permeate our lives! We are told by God, in Philippians 4:4, that we should rejoice in the Lord always! It doesn't get much clearer than that. In Matthew 5:14-15 we are told that Christians are the light of the world and that we shouldn't light our lamps and put them under a bowl, the joy we have in Christ should shine to sinners always and never be covered up by the darkness of sadness or anger. Ephesians 4:31 tells us that Christians should not be angry. And what reason do we have to be angry or upset? As Philippians 4:11-12 says, we are to be content in EVERYTHING no matter what happens, because we have Jesus!

  Look Nice. Christians are commanded to no longer conform to the patterns of this world by God in Romans 12:2! This means that, no matter how the world may dress, we have to obey what the Bible teaches! Thanks to 1 Corinthians 11:14-15, we know that God demands that men keep their hair short and women must have long hair: there is no room for anything else among Christians! Leviticus 19:28 tells us that Christians are not to tattoo themselves because God is the Lord! And we know that 1 Peter 3:3 teaches that we should not have piercings because beauty should not come from outward adornment.  As Christians, God requires that our clothes not reflect subcultures like punk rock, goth, or urban cultures, because we must, following 1 Thessalonians 5:22, avoid every appearance of evil. Finally, according to 1 Corinthians 9:22, we must become all things to all men; and how can we do that unless we give up individuality and dress in a way that is acceptable to everyone?

  Tithe. In Leviticus 27:30-32, God has commanded us as Christians to give ten percent of our money to him. And we know that as Christians, we have to give to God what is His, because Jesus commanded it in Mark 12:17. Ten percent of each paycheck belongs to God, give to Him what is His!

  Don't Talk About Sex. In Ephesians 5:3, God tells us that there should not be even a hint of sexual immorality among us as Christians, because it is improper for His holy people! In Ephesians 5:8-12, God tells us that, it is shameful to even mention what the disobedient do in secret. As Christians, we must seek to please God by avoiding even a hint of sexual immorality and not talking about sex!

  Have Good Friends. In order to be a Christian, you cannot be friends with sinners. In Psalm 1, we are told that the man who does not walk with the wicked or stand with sinners is blessed by God! 1 Corinthians 5:11 tells us that we should not associate with sinners, in fact, we should not even eat with them!  Ephesians 5:11 tells us that we are to have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness... that means not associating with the sinners in the heart of the darkness!

  Don't Drink or Smoke. Ephesians 5:18 tells us that we should not drink alcohol, because it leads to debauchery! Proverbs 20:1 tells us that wine and beer lead to sin and anyone who drinks them is not wise! Smoking, too, is sinful, for we know that 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 tells us our bodies are TEMPLES to God and we must honor Him with them! We must avoid the sins of the flesh! For in the list of the sins of the flesh in Galatians 5:19-21, drunkenness and revelries are said to be equal with such sins as adultery, sex and murder! It clearly says that those who drink and smoke will not go to heaven!

  Don't Watch Secular Television. Philippians 4:8 tells us that we need to think about what is pure, noble, right, and lovely and that does not include the sinful desires of the world! Television, movies, music, and books: Christians shouldn't expose themselves to any that are produced by the world, for we know that Jesus says in Matthew 11:38, the eyes are the lamp of the body: if what we see is good, then our whole body is good! But if our eyes are full of darkness, so will we be! In 1 John 2:15, we're told that we must not love the world or anything in the world, or we do not love God! That is why we mustn't enjoy any secular entertainment! That is also why it is so important to homeschool your children!

  To be a Christian, all you have to do is follow these simple rules. Then you can spend the rest of eternity in the same place that all the other Christians will!

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• Holy Comic Strips, Batman!

  I have to link to this old piece I wrote on my now defunct comedy blog, otherwise the pictures will rape the margins.

  Holy Comic Strips, Batman!

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• I Read About a Palm in Madagascar

  I read about a Palm in Madagascar
  Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall
  Indistinguishable from the other tropical trees
  
  A man could build a house between two palms in Madagascar
  Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall
  The man would see the trees and always think them identical
  
  A man could raise his children in his beach cottage
  Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall
  And the man would die, never knowing the difference
  
  The children would grow old in the cottage
  Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall
  And only in their twilight would they know
  
  For 100 years they would never know the difference
  Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall
  The Palm waiting, always waiting, for its moment
  
  After 100 years a branch shoots up from the Palm
  Dozens of small flowers crawl over every inch of the branch
  Nectar oozes out and flying critters swarm
  
  The Palm puts everything into that display of majesty
  Every Winter-- Spring-- Summer-- Fall--
  All its life has been leading into that single magnificent moment
  
  The carefully crafted masterpiece is finished,
  And The Palm dies.

  
  I want to be that Palm in Madagascar.

  

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• Life to Its Fullest

  Life in Christ is about giving yourself away. Part of that is to embrace the rollercoaster. It's the existential notion of authentic living, which we first really find not in philosophy, but in Scripture. Life shouldn't be an equilibrium, a balance. Life is no placid lake. Life is a raging sea, with waves as high as any skyscraper.

  Authentic Christian living means riding these waves. As humans, we're always willing to surf on the crests of the highest waves, and I don't think that's a fault at all. We should be drunk on the Spirit of God, we should embrace His Creation and the romance of breathing. Sunshine on your cheeks, the breeze in your hair, feel the ocean mist in your face. That's part of what makes you in the Image of God, it's your function and duty and spiritual act of worship.

  The part we too often forget is that in order to surf on the crests of the highest waves, we need to capsize. That is, we'll never be proficient at living enough to reach the highest of heights until we've had lots of practice getting there. And if you practice, you will fail. The higher you go, the farther you will fall.

  But we teach people to internalize the despair. Christians are joyful, Christians are happy. Don't be sad, because you have Jesus. Bullshit.

  Life in Christ means celebrating the sorrow as much as celebrating the joy. Living is amazing, reaching to the sun as the wave pushes you higher. But living is just as amazing when you are being beaten down by the force of the sea, bruises forming on your body as the waves pound you deeper and deeper. Saltwater stings your eyes, sand dries your mouth and you take a desperate gasp for air as you reach the surface for just a minute before another wave pushes you down even further. But that single belabored breath is just as sweet as any intoxicating inhale from the top of the wave. That's just as much what makes you in the Image of God. Tasting the defeat, pain, tears, blood--tasting the sand--is just as much your duty as a human being. It is part of your spiritual act of worship.

  ---

  Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship...

  Love must be sincere.
  Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.
  Honor one another above yourselves.
  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
  Be joyful in hope,
  patient in affliction,
  faithful in prayer.
  Share with God's people who are in need.
  Practice hospitality.

  Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

  Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

  --Romans 12

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